A year gone by

Dang, did i really just snooze and have two years go by? Snooze is not really the appropriate word though, truth be told. More appropriate list of words would be blazing fast, skidding in sideways, petal to the metal. Trying to relish the full steam nature of being a mom with the treasurable moments of the day is a challenge. It's a near impossible task but i try. The needs are so pressing and usually all the time. I've had other moms tell me that they would trade their clean, empty house for loud chaos again anyday. So, I tell myself to watch for the moments and don't let the tyranny of the urgent drown out the important things like singing a song with my 8 year old. Living in the memory of today.

4 words

So there i was. Mildly annoyed that i had gone out to do errands and had come back to a house that was still in the same state of disarray. Annoyed because i had hoped that one of the four humans in the house, who were still in the house, would pick up a bit while i was gone. No such luck. Being full steam ahead in my own funk, i get a phone call from a friend. Funny because she's one of my precise, ordered friends. Very little disarray in her house.

Silently thinking about that irony, she interrupts my thoughts to ask if i can watch one of her kids while she goes to a doctor's appointment. "No problem," i reply.

Before i could say anything else, she says flatly, "the cancer is back." Four words had superhuman strength to stop me in my tracks and instantly with blinding speed, change my thought pattern. As those four words had been told to her and had stopped her in her tracks, they had stopped mine as well.

Since she told me several days ago, needless to say, i am not concerned about my messy house. Not even on my radar. In the big picture, you love your kids, love the significant others/family in your life and you leave a legacy. My friend and I have been talking about the legacy she will be leaving behind for her family. She has already written her eulogy. Made me think i should write mine. It definitely won't include the finer points of an always clean house.

What binds us together

Okay, i've come across a universal idea that is not rocket science. The more impressive thing is how much the media and other marketing/advertising folks (and i am in that field) suppress this idea. Authors suppress it. Media suppresses it. It secretly comes out in our conversations, our attitudes, non-verbal cues, everything. This is the deal. If you're a mom, it doesn't matter if you are a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) or if you are a working mom (all moms work. don't get this one.). You're still a mom. Sure there are different circumstances in each category but the point is, you are still a mom. All those groups i mentioned above love, love, love to divide that idea by saying that they, you, are fundamentally different from the other group.

Not so. You have different daily circumstances but you have the same driving mom thang. You love your kids. You would walk over hot coals if you had to. You would and sometimes do, battle the school.

So many of us would encourage the other woman from the other circumstantial camp if we could see things that way. It's funny but i come across so many women who secretly envy other moms from the other circumstantial camp. The SAHM mom envies that the working mom seems to look so glamorous, seems to have great purpose, and probably doesn't have her hair in a pony tail. The working mom envies the SAHM mom's ability to go on a field trip with her child without having to sign 3 "day of absence" forms in triplicate, call a friend in the middle of the day, or hit the grocery story before the dreaded 5 bells.

See what i mean? Reach across and encourage someone unlike you. You'd be surprised how much your words can impact the other.

Yeah Friday

Finally, friday is here and 5 can't come soon enough.